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THE COLD SHADOWS IN HIS EYES

A knock at the door,        another one at the bed room window;
a phone rang and she woke up.
At first,
she thought she was dreaming.
she woke up from her sweet nightmares.
She checked the phone ,
it was past midnight, precisely six minutes past one.
She was moody again.
She hates it every night when the man turned into a very familiar stranger.
She opened the door lock and headed to the kitchen ,
took a matchbox and lit the cooker and warmed the cabbages.
She went to the toilet and back to the kitchen.
The man had entered and had switched on the sitting room lights.
She looked in his eyes and saw many shadows,
She didn't recognize any of them .
she was looking for her own, it was not there neither was her face.
The stinky smell of alcohol and cigarette had filled the room
"Did the bulb burn?"he asked but she pretended not to have heard as she entered the kitchen and with a wooden spoon stirred the warming food.
He asked again.
"what happened to the bulb?" "Didn't  I tell you there were no electricity over the phone?" she answered .
He knew the man was nagging or was just talking to gauge temper at that hour because he knew the replacement happens whenever there were a blackout as the rechargeable light gave light to the house.
The kids had to eat and the movements in the house had to be managed.
It was a chilly July as usual in the highlands,
and she hated it whenever the man woke her up at the frightening hour after she had warmed the blankets. Everyday,
she would feel the cold heart and the body of the man bringing discomforts and unhappy moments in their lives.
The alcohol and the cold and the so called friends of the man and the night were killing the never blissful union.
she cut a piece of the Brown ugali and put it on the plate and then added the vegetables on the side. she took a spoon and placed it on the plate and served, then put it on the coffee table.
She went back to the kitchen and poured water, cold water from the tap in a melamine cup and served the man.
"Where are my medicine??"he asked.
She opened the cupboard and gave him a strip of tablets in a blemish blister pack.
The man had high blood pressure to regulate but his lifestyle never changed but got worse.
She left him at the table and went back to bed. she always avoided the arguments between them that came more naturally than laughter.
she had to endure many lonely nights and worthless arguments that sometimes turned to chaotic.
She could not see her face or her shadow in the man's face or eyes but many uknown,not familiar but still familiar faces.
A guilty look ,
an intimidated look and a heart not sure of anything was always written in him. ,"This man is always becoming a stranger everyday"she would talk with her inner friend.
She had started getting closer to herself and had realised how much she needed to love herself.
she had seen worse days and nights and that one was peaceful and happier.
it had become a routine though she could not understand how or why too much violence was always directed to her to open a door for a person whom she knew too well was not working but just having fun. Is there fun in drinking cold beer on a freezing night?
A night, maybe two or three nights past,
he had come earlier than she had thought.
She had slept with a thought that by the time he comes atleast she would have slept for two hours. But just when her body had been paralysed by sleep,she heard a knock .
It was real and so in her dream she woke up opened the door ,
warmed his food and even a cup of milk.
Two more knocks followed and couldn't understand it. She woke up scared.

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My life is finished,
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Anyway forgive me,
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It was quite a worry some day!
I thought,
The body was contacting the soul,
It has become a routine nowadays,
What is happening to us?
Emotions are rising high each day,
I ,the soul, am always suffocating within you,
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The idleness and indecision,
The pain and worthlessness,
What is happening to us?
It is too painful nowadays,
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Of course, that is the exact word-LAZY
We wake up early  but aimless,
We then lack any plan,
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Am stuck here,
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What is happening to us?
Is it the end or beginning?
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I, body, am too weak!
I,soul, am soffocating!
I,mind, am lost in a multitude of useless ideas!
Let us have a nap may be we will be fine in waking.

MAN ,GIVE HER WINGS TO FLY

Iam a woman,
a mother,
but one day I was just a daughter.
A dream in the making, Someone thought well and wished me well.
Today I wish someone else well.
Iam a woman ,
When I was a daughter only,
I had dreams and wishes,
I went to school and tried my best,
I wanted to be somebody,
I really tried.
Today as a mother ,
I belong to someone,
Does he understand my girlhood dreams?
Maybe or maybe not, Sometimes I feel am just a mere woman,
A person who only should take care of his home,
children and him.
Others make me feel the same,
When they wish they married me,
When they wish I could be the mother of their kids, Don't they see another fountain in me? Iam a woman ,
My dreams are not dead, They bother me,
When you see me quiet,
Am making a plan,
One day I will look up and move ahead,
I will realize my dreams,
I will make my girlhood dreams a reality,
Look at that woman,
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